Don’t tear me apart / 別把我撕裂

Today we have an OB appointment with another midwife. Last time I already asked about the episiotomy during the labor. The midwife basically said they don’t do it right away now because it really depends on the condition. This time I asked again because I was really afraid I will have severe tearing during the labor.  I told this midwife about my concern. I’m an asian. My body is tiny. I told her most doctors usually do an episiotomy in Taiwan to prevent severe tearing. This is another midwife. She explained in more detail to me how they decide if it is necessary. So she said they usually will apply some oil and cream to make skin more stretchy. She even used a tissue to explain to me. She showed me without tearing the tissue, the tissue looks stretchy when she pulled two sides. However, when she cut the center of the tissue it was more easy to tear apart when she pulled both sides of it. She said most of time when they see the baby’s head coming, they usually tell mommy to blow instead of push too hard. The best situation is to let the baby’s head slide out without pushing out. Pushing too hard, of course it could easily be torn.

I heard some nurses will help the mommy push their bellies if mommy runs out of energy. I asked the midwife about it. She said they usually don’t do it too. It might potentially hurt the baby. The only thing they can do is cheer me up. Well… I really don’t know what condition I will face during the labor. So many unpredictable situations are waiting for me. I don’t like this feeling because I like everything under control or at least I need to know what situation I’ll face but it seems I can’t. Nobody can tell what my body is capable of, and how can I handle the situation. It is all hard to say.

今天我們跟另外一個助產士產檢，上一次我已經問過關於生產會陰切開的問題，今天我想說再問看看這個助產士，看答案會不會是一樣的，結果還是一樣的答案，他們通常不會主動先剪那刀，他們會看情況，我跟助產士說我很怕會裂的亂七八糟的，因為我的體型比較小，台灣的醫生通常也都會剪去預防不規則的龜裂，然後這個助產士說通常他們會塗抹一些乳液或是潤滑油讓皮膚變得比較有彈性，然後她抽了一張衛生紙跟我解釋，她用兩隻手拉扯兩邊，她說如果不剪，這樣拉扯，你可以看的出來是有彈性的，但是如果你剪了一刀，拉扯兩邊，很可能這個裂痕會變得更嚴重，所以他們會看情況，當寶寶的頭要出來時，她通常會叫媽媽吹氣，最好的狀況就是寶寶可以慢慢的出來，而不是被大力推出來，因為大力的推擠當然就很容易造成裂傷。

我也問了關於推我肚子的狀況，我說我聽說有些護士會幫忙壓媽媽的肚子如果媽媽真的沒有力氣用力了，她說她們通常也不會這樣做，因為這樣很可能會傷到寶寶，她們唯一可以幫我的只有鼓勵我…我超想知道我生產會有的過程或是步驟，但是現在我真的不知道我到底可能會遇到什麼樣的狀況了，好像很多狀況無法預期，超不喜歡這樣的感覺，不過也真的沒有人可以知道我的身體到底可以如何應付生產的過程，畢竟每個人都不一樣。